October 2024
Morning Meditation
by Tom C
On a recent summer morning I was living inside my head, filled with rumination, worry and marinating resentments. I knew this place and thanks to the program, I didn’t want to be there much longer. I was stressed. Recently, my alcoholic loved one relapsed and left me with all of the responsibilities of the household including care of our young daughter. Our little dog, Flynn, was eager to get outside that morning and seemed ignorant to my problems. I needed some self-care but just couldn’t find the time and space with my responsibilities at home.
I thought of the meditation app on my phone. How could I carve out 15 minutes of time for myself to be alone and in a quiet space with my eyes closed and sitting still? I usually meditated on the chaise lounge upstairs in peace and quiet. It was a nice thought, but it wasn’t going to happen no matter how hard I tried. I was frustrated.
I accepted my reality and decided to just listen to the meditation anyway as I walked the park with Flynn. It was my version of Let go and Let God. Or in that moment it was an opportunity to embrace Steps 1 and 3. (Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.) It seemed like a waste of time and I pondered just listening to a podcast discussing the news or fantasy football draft advice. To my surprise, today’s meditation was a visual meditation with your eyes open. I could do that! Then the guide proceeded to say that it was a good meditation to do when walking. This was working out well.
For the next 20 minutes, I walked through the park calling out all of the interesting sights and admiring the beauty within our little neighborhood park. I was guided to look at everything around me instead of focusing on my thoughts. To be where I was, and not in my head. After 20 minutes, I felt relaxed, grateful and serene.
When I surrendered to doing the best I could with what I had in front of me, my higher power did the rest. It was no coincidence that the meditation that morning was perfectly tailored to provide me the relief I so desperately needed. God did for me what I could not do for myself.
AIS/LDC needs you!
by Mary R, LDC Co-coordinator
The Literature Distribution Center (LDC) volunteer crew is experiencing change. One of our wonderful volunteers is moving on, having served the LDC for 3 years. She was always doing great work for us, as an office literature shipper. As a result, we need to refill our slate of volunteers by January 2025.
The job is done on Thursdays, with a full slate of volunteers. The need is for one day a month, with a flexible schedule. It usually only takes 2-3 hours or less and a couple trips to pick up mail and ship packages.
Please communicate with your members about the needs of our office so we can keep running a successful all-volunteer office. This helps us spend your donated dollars wisely.
photo by Soren S
Anyone that might be interested in volunteering in the LDC can reach Mary R, LDC co-coordinator, at LDC@seattle-al-anon.org. We will welcome you aboard and get your training started.
Our prayers are for someone to step up before January so we can seamlessly continue to deliver Conference Approved Literature (CAL) to our Seattle area membership.
Thank you.
Seeking the next BITS Newsletter Editor
by Clif H
Hello all of our valuable BITS readers. I will be stepping down from editing and publishing the BITS. As with many service activities within Al-Anon, it is appropriate to share service opportunities amongst the membership. Therefore, the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Services (AIS) is seeking candidates for the next BITS Newsletter Editor.
You may by now be wondering what the responsibilities are as the Newsletter Editor. Each month you collect inputs from various contributors, as well as, review the AIS website for appropriate material for inclusion. Every input goes through an editorial process that involves checking to ensure that the material follows the Al-Anon legacies, is well-written grammatically, and is appropriate content.
Explore your creativity.
If you are interested in the opportunity to become the next BITS Newsletter Editor, feel free to reach out to me at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
Step Ten
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Laughter
by Loretta L
What is it about laughter that
Makes our problems go away
….true belly laughter
My grandma lived with us for months at a time when I was younger. I had two brothers, and we lived in a split level where the rooms would be in a circle, so it was great fun when we would chase each other running in circles. Inevitably, one of us would slip and fall down the stairs. Well, that’s when my grandma would run up to us and start laughing. Even if we were crying, she would laugh so hard that she would lose her false teeth, which would bring us roaring with laughter.
When meeting with my sponsee and listening to some horrific dramatic story, I would always start laughing, right in the middle. She would stop talking, look and me say what is so funny?
And, within moments we would both have tears running down our cheeks.
I bring this up in memory of my late son, Jeremy, because he was so funny. He had so many one liners, Jerisms, that I collected them from his family and recovery friends and made a calendar.
photo by Soren S
“Life is so Lifey” was just one of his Jerisms.
What a gift he was for those 43 years on the earth.
He had so many relapses, that when he told his tragic events, they became hysterical stories. You couldn’t help but laugh. At the time, they were disasters, but in time our darkest past becomes our greatest asset.
So, we review our past, but not for morbid reflections, rather to learn from it.
I think laughter is truly medicine for our soul and it somehow mends our broken hearts.
Life is so Lifey.
Application of Tradition 10 to My Personal Life
by Clif H
The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.“
Over the years, I've learned how it is possible to apply the Traditions to my home life in a fashion similar to my ability to apply them within the program.
Outside issues in the program include politics. That is obvious. Within my family, even in my home, politics can be an outside issue. Years ago, while visiting family in another state, I thought that we were rationally discussing candidates. As it turned out, I was so wrong. One family member stopped talking to me for roughly 2 years. This put a strain on several other family relationships.
Consider similar ramifications within the Al-Anon program if several individuals were to be alienated, or multiple competing factions developed as the result of discussion of outside issues. Depending upon the organizational level of the conflict, groups could be torn apart, the Area could become dismantled or at the least ineffective. God forbid, loss of unity at the World Service Office.
Such great harm could result not just to the organization, but the damage could extend to the newcomer, someone who desperately needs the help, yet had nothing to do with the discussion of the outside issues. Many experienced in the program would be able to find a new safe place. The newcomer might not be as blessed.
Today, as the result of my application of Tradition 10 across my life and in the program, I've been able to rebuild my family relationships and have done no harm to my home group, other meetings, or higher levels of the program where I am in service.
Tradition Ten
The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?
Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please submit your request via the New To Al-Anon page, or send an email to outreach@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
Has Your Meeting Changed?
Gone back to meeting in person
Become hybrid or concurrent
Has a new physical location
Made other changes that members need to know about
Has an alternate Holiday Schedule
Has disbanded
Please submit all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator by using the form at https://wa-al-anon.org/group-records-request-a-change/
Changes and Updates are made Weekly.
(Seattle AIS is automatically cc'd in the change request)
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org
2024 Washington Area Event Schedule
FALL ASSEMBLY: October 4-6
Requesting Phone Volunteers
Contact the Phones Coordinator
Phones@seattle-al-anon.org or call/text 206-625-0000
Concept of the Month
by Allen L
Concept Ten
Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.
The ultra simple example of avoiding double-headed management:
Child: Mommy, may I have a cookie?
Mommy: No. It will spoil your dinner.
Child: Daddy, may I have a cookie?
Daddy: Ask your mother.
Of course, when it comes to Al-Anon Service the problem of overlapping responsibilities is much more complex. At the Area, District, and Group levels there is often work that needs to cross into different areas of responsibility. It can take some discussion to reach an agreement as to who is responsible for which tasks.
How many times, pre-Al-Anon, did I see something that was not getting done and jump in with both hands to fix it? Often, I discovered that I was interfering with the person who actually was supposed to be handling that task, also often discovering that I was working at cross purposes with them and actually making things worse.
This Concept reminds me to try to be clear to myself about what is and is not my responsibility. I have to remember that if someone else is responsible, I must give them the same authority to do it their way and in their time that I want for myself.
Most of us can see the responsibility and authority balance pretty clearly at work and in our Al-Anon groups. It seems hardest for me to see it at home where the urge is to keep decision making authority to myself, even when someone else has the responsibility to do that something.
photo by Clif H
In some ways it might be more important to respect this Concept at home than it is at work or in Al-Anon meetings. What unintended message do I send my spouse when I don’t respect their authority in certain areas? What unintended message do I send my children when I don’t delegate the (age appropriate) responsibility and authority to them?
I often refer to my Al-Anon program as “insidious.” It sneaks into my daily life when I’m not looking. When I learned to practice this at my meetings, it slowly, slowly began to become part of my relationships at work and at home.
Concept Ten
Service responsibility is balanced by carefully defined service authority and double-headed management is avoided.
AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, October 10th, 2024, 7:30-9:00 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
AIS Board Meeting
Thursday, October 17th, 2024 at 7:00-8:30 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
2024 Board Meeting Schedule
October 17 7:00 - 8:30 PM
Rethinking the “Holidaze” via The Serenity Prayer
by Callie D
As the holiday season approaches, I am finding myself feeling a lot of sadness and apprehension. I want to push these uncomfortable feelings away, but I know it’s time to pay attention. Decorating, baking, and trying to get special gifts for loved ones doesn’t cover the taint of alcoholism and its discontents.
Al-Anon encourages me to “accept the things I cannot change.” That doesn’t mean I have to force myself to continue to be around the dysfunction and insanity. Or to accept unacceptable behavior. But this brings up other issues as I contemplate “changing the things I can.”
I hate to disappoint anyone, especially friends and family. I have spent many confusing hours with loved ones who are trapped in addiction. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I still hoped to create a good memory. It is so difficult to step back, and let them down. There tends to be a big price to pay for boundaries, including extreme reactions and other lingering fallout. It all takes so much energy to navigate.
That’s the dilemma. There are no easy answers. Having realistic expectations doesn’t stop the pain, but it may lessen the impact. I just know that it often takes a long time to recover from exposure to toxic behavior from the people I love. Even when I’m not directly involved, witnessing the unhealthy dynamics affects me, too.
photo by Callie D
I am bordering on the definition of crazy if I don’t make some serious changes this year. Accepting the reality of the situation, and putting away any magical thinking. “Changing the things I can” means focusing on myself and where I have agency or the ability to make different choices. To ask my Higher Power for the courage to implement these changes and the wisdom to be discerning.
Respecting my own limitations is a step in the right direction. “I didn’t cause it.” I recognize that an intergenerational scourge has been active for decades, as alcoholism infects my relationships. “I can’t control it.” Although I have a strong desire to “help,” I can no longer invest in situations where the person has no interest in recovery. It isn’t my responsibility to clean up another person’s mess. I have repairs to make on my own side of the street. “I can’t cure it.” How I wish I could save those who often die too young by direct or indirect contact with alcoholism.
I may not get the warm fuzzy holidays of connecting hearts and mutual gratitude, but I can celebrate the season in a way that brings me serenity. Change is hard, but I have a feeling it will be worth it.
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September 2024 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary, not yet approved)
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service Council Minutes September 12, 2024 7:30-9:00 pm
Meeting opened at 7:30 pm by Dave M - Chair
In attendance: 21 attendees
Serenity Prayer
Introductions
Readings: Concept 9-Pierre J
Secretary Report: Dave M for Kathy K - Approval of the August minutes
Chair Report: Dave M
Donation Thank You’s
I'm still looking for a volunteer to send an E mail thank you to groups that make contributions each month. Contact me at Chair@seattle-al-anon.org for more details.
Fall Assembly
October 4,5 and 6th in Moses Lake. I will be attending. Key agenda items are election of new panel and 2025 Budget presentation/discussion. 1 motion regarding Electronic Meetings.
In person attendance capped at 70 people. Fully subscribed! Virtual registration closes September 20th.
Board Meeting
Next meeting is scheduled for October 17th. Key agenda item will be 2025 budget presentation and discussion.
Lois’s Birthday 2025
Paperwork completed for March 8th event. One issue is the Certificate of Liability as our policy is renewed on February 28th. Meeting with Saint Andrews Church next Tuesday morning to hopefully finalize details.
Vice Chair Report: Arden C
Ice Cream Social
Thank you to Linda, Mary, Solveig, Kathy, Dave and MJ. 40 people attended, consuming 4 half gallons of ice cream and just a couple of bottles of root beer. Ice Cream Sundaes were the big hit!
Treasurer’s Report: Gary H - Donations were down a little in August, however AIS remains in good financial shape.
Coordinator Reports:
Phones: Heather R
Contact: phones@seattle-al-anon.org or can just call or text the AIS phone number 206-625-0000 to volunteer.
VOLUNTEERS:
· 18 available volunteers, out of 20 trained
· 11 were active in August
· One new, potential volunteer
CALLS & TEXTS:
· Received 75 calls and 46 texts = 121 points of contact.
· Two (2) non-al-anon
· ZERO ACTIVITY DAYS: Four (4), three fell on weekends
VOLUNTEERING NEEDS: Please let your groups know that members can volunteer as little as once a month!
ACTIVITIES :
Work on updating Phone Manual
Research what happens if a text recipient replies HELP or STOP
LDC: Mary R -
LDC Report to Council 8-8-2024
Open Office Saturday the 7th, we had 2 people pick up things they pre-ordered and 4 who dropped in and shopped. They came in one at a time and most stayed and visited for a while, so Linda and I had a nice day.
We are up on our supply of literature and are looking forward to ordering the new pamphlet style piece of literature which is coming out soon. We will put an article in the BITS when we have it in stock.
One member has stepped up to fill the Shipping Volunteer slot recently vacated. She is slated to start training in October to be ready to take over in January.
Communications: MJ
Reminder: we have one open position coming soon: Newsletter Editor (the Bits) – the current editor is stepping down in December.
Tech: Pierre J
This past month has been quiet on the tech side, just a bit of regular maintenance on the office computers and helping the new Web Editor take ownership of the webeditor@ AIS account.
I have been looking into how one could enable chatbot on the Seattle AIS website, but after some research I have not been able to figure out how to make technology work, and I came to the realization that I am out of my depth trying to figure this out and make it work.
If anyone involved with AIS, or anyone you know who might be able to help drive this effort and help us figure this out, might be willing to take over this project and figure out how to get this to work on our online presence, I believe this might be the best path forward. I am sorry I have not been able to make this happen, but I have to acknowledge my limit here and call for anyone with a passion and skill to figure this out to take the lead on this effort.
Discussion of Chat Bot resulted in a team of volunteers (Tom, Gary, Solveig and Dave) who will thoroughly investigate Chat Bot and get back to the group.
Outreach: Solveig W
· Sent out six Newcomer Packets
· Have secured TWO Al-Anon volunteers to staff the table at Seattle Mariners Recovery Day this Sunday 9/14 alongside AA. Thank you to Lisa and Sandra, who have attended the Mariner's orientation meeting via Zoom and will be expensing snacks. Sandra has Outreach Literature in hand.
· Helped the Communications Coordinator answer a few questions from email.
· Requested a booth for the 2025 National Association for Addiction Professionals Annual Conference, which will be held at the Hyatt Regency Bellevue October 10-15, 2025. The reply was it's too early still to book a booth. But we are on their list for information for this conference.
· Outreach Ads - Holiday 2024/25 (late November through end of January)
· We will continue our Sound Transit Bus and Train ads this Holiday Season.
Old Business:
Chat Bot: See (Chair and Tech Reports)
Lois Birthday 2025: (See Chair report)
AIS Service Recognition:
Discussion was held surrounding ways to recognize and thank people for their AIS service. Dave mentioned that last year we held a potluck during last office opening to say thank you to our volunteers. Tentative agreement was reached that we should do the potluck again in December with details being finalized at future meetings.
New Business:
Council Meeting Length
Discussion was held regarding meeting length being too long and content too detailed for some members.
General feelings expressed by the group were:
· Members agreed that shorter meetings would be appreciated.
· Members were not in favor of arbitrarily shortening the current 90 minute time frame as it was felt this might inhibit discussion and participation by members.
· Members felt the current practice of getting written reports from Officers and Coordinators could help shorten meetings if circulated before the meeting and were read by attendees before the meeting. Officers and Coordinators to discuss key issues only in the meeting and answer any questions from attendees regarding their reports.
· A work in progress, meeting length will be determined organically at each meeting.
Seventh tradition
https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/donationsforms
Next Council Meeting
October 10, at 7:30 pm
Next Board Meeting
October 17, 2024, at 7:00 pm
Adjournment: Al-Anon Declaration
Meeting adjourned at: 8:57 pm
Respectfully submitted by:
Kathy K, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
And More ...
MEETING SCHEDULE: Registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. Hybrid, Concurrent, and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Member Resources section for the most up-to-date information on:
List of AIS Officers and Coordinators
Where to Send Donations
District Representatives and Business Meeting Information
AIS Financial Information
Calendar of Events
Meeting News
News from the Meeting Directory Editor
Meeting changes received since those reported in the September BITS.
• Monday,7:00 – 8:30 PM Parents for Serenity AFG, new in person meeting (8/22)
• Monday, 7:00 – 8:30 PM Parents for Serenity Online AFG, new online meeting (8/22)
• Wednesday, 7:00 PM Courage to Change, now in-person only every Wednesday (9/19)
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service
Meeting Directory Editor