June 2024
Gratitude is a Powerful Motivator
by Kathleen S
I came to Al-Anon after attending a family and friends’ weekend at a rehab center in Yakima. Before that, I thought AA, Al-Anon, and Alcoholics Anonymous were all names for the same organization. It never entered my head that anyone other than the addict needed healing. The in-person family weekend impacted me profoundly, for which, I am deeply grateful.
In 2020, my home group in Issaquah shifted quickly to meeting virtually, but I began to wonder about the rehab center. Would they still be able to help friends and family find Al-Anon for their own recovery and healing?
I shared my concern with another member in my home group, Kurt J, who also felt a personal sense of gratitude to that rehab center. Soon we sought the guidance of the group and what we could or should do. With their support, we reached out to the rehab center. We confirmed that, although they still encouraged friends and family to check-out Al-Anon, no meetings were being offered online or in-person. We knew someone needed to do something.
Our GR took our concerns to our district, where we found other groups supported seeing what could be done. We thought: Perhaps, we should appeal to the Area? Certainly, the Area Outreach Coordinator would be the right person to fix this.
The Area Outreach Coordinator jumped at the idea and immediately dove in by contacting the District 7 Representative. She noted that Yakima and Issaquah were in different districts: Districts 7 & 16, respectively. She explained that Al-Anon service members observe the links of service. The two districts would have to work together to honor Concept 10 and avoid double-headed management.
She did not seem to have understood the part about her fixing this. However, we soon came to realize our presumption was that she would fix things alone. Now we understand: Al-Anon is a WE program. The cooperation of District 7 was quickly and gratefully received and WE got to work.
I remembered one winter, when my sons were little, the power went out. Soon the dishwasher was full and we needed clean dishes. “What will we do?!” I moaned, waving my hands at the full sink. Suddenly, my focus changed and I laughed aloud. I held my hands up in front of me as if seeing them for the first time. Still laughing, I started filling the sink with hot soapy water, grateful for the gas hot water tank. I’ve read that obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off our goal.
We turned to the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual,, put a script together and ZOOM! Al-Anon Handshake: An Orientation for Newcomers began offering sessions on the 2nd and 4th Fridays each month. That was three years ago. I laugh now at my expectation that someone in an Area outreach service position would be solely responsible to fix this. Instead, WE would be doing this! Turns out, outreach is everyone’s service position.
As the Al-Anon Declaration says: “Let it begin with me! When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, let the hand of Al-Anon & Alateen always be there. And, let it begin with me.”
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I Found My Safe Space
I first set foot in Al Anon because of my mother’s drinking. My partner, who is in Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), suggested Al Anon, and so did other outside help. At that point, I had been to some open A.A. meetings, and I craved the feeling of community I witnessed there.
One night, the day after my birthday, I hastily decided to go. “It’s now or never,” I told myself, knowing if I kept procrastinating, I’d likely not follow through. I knew Al Anon would not stop my mom or any alcoholic from drinking, but I also knew I couldn’t hold the weight of the disease on my own any longer.
The first night, I listened as others shared, and when it was my turn, I shared what I was grateful for, rather than what was truly in my heart. The person after me shared her hurt, anger, and raw emotions. I remember thinking that I felt the same way and wishing I had shared more honestly. I thanked that person after the meeting. Her honesty helped me realize that Al Anon is a space where I can be the real me. I’d never had that space at home. Here I could be grateful and devastated.
Al Anon is a safe space where I can process my experience within the community. I walked into Al Anon during a time when I was convinced I would lose everything to my mom’s drinking. Now, with almost four years in the program, I have gained so much. I’ve gained irreplaceable friendships, a Sponsor, community, safety, and endless tools. Though it wasn’t a way to save or change my mom, Al Anon changed and saved me.
By Ashleigh S., California
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
A limited number of spots are still available for the Fort Worden Weekend. If you are interested, contact a representative at kama.afg.wa@gmail.com.
Step Six
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Photo by Soren S
Seeking the next BITS Newsletter Editor
by Clif H
It’s hard to believe that it has already been two and a half years that I have been editing and publishing the BITS. As with many service activities within Al-Anon, it is appropriate to share service opportunities amongst the membership. Therefore, the Greater Seattle Al-Anon Information Services (AIS) is seeking candidates for the next BITS Newsletter Editor.
Personally, this has been an extremely important part of my recovery. My journey into this service work began when I started attending the AIS Council Meetings, rather on a whim. As I was approaching working Step 12 with my sponsor, he suggested that perhaps another step I could take on my recovery journey would be to attend the council meetings simply as an observer. It was not necessary to hold a formal group position to attend, in fact, every member is welcome and invited to attend. So, I looked on the AIS website, identified the Zoom information for the monthly meeting, and began attending. What I found was an amazing group of volunteers working to fulfill the mission of the Seattle AIS, to paraphrase: the AIS serves the Districts within the Seattle area, the Groups within those Districts, and the public in providing Al-Anon recovery information. After I had been attending for a while, the Editor at that time informed the Council that his term of service was coming to an end and was therefore seeking his replacement. By then, I had written a couple of articles for inclusion in the newsletter. So, I threw my name in the hat and was selected as the next BITS Newsletter Editor.
photo by Clif H
You may by now be wondering what the responsibilities are as the Newsletter Editor. Each month you collect inputs from various contributors, as well as, review the AIS website for appropriate material for inclusion. Every input goes through an editorial process that involves checking to ensure that the material follows the Al-Anon legacies, is well-written grammatically, and is appropriate content. As with all of Al-Anon, you are not alone, others are available to assist with these tasks. You may also choose to write your own articles and create content of your own. As the content is completed, the next step is to compile the material in the web tool, formatting everything into the final newsletter format. Additionally, you become a voting member of the AIS Council.
Explore your creativity.
If you are interested in the opportunity to become the next BITS Newsletter Editor, feel free to reach out to me at newslettereditor@seattle-al-anon.org.
From the
Mailbag
The following question was received in the newsletter editor mailbox. Since I have no experience as a Group Representative (GR), I reached out to some of my trusted peers in the program for their perspectives from their own experiences. For their replies, I’m eternally grateful.
“I recently volunteered to be the GR for my group. My home group hasn’t had a GR for a long time. Where do I start? What can I expect? What are my responsibilities?”
Where do I start? One thing I knew for sure was that if I was asking the question, the first place I’d look was to pull out the 2022-2025 Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual, (available in hard copy from AIS for $11, or free download available at WSO). Contact your District Rep, attend District meetings, and get connected with other GR’s in your District was also high on everyone’s list. Other items identified included: get a service sponsor; attend the monthly GR Circle: https://wa-al-anon.org/2022/09/04/wa-area-gr-circle/; review the Al-Anon Guideline for GR’s, G11 https://al-anon.org/pdf/G11.pdf; and tap into your group’s former GR’s experience.
What can I expect? The first one on this list is my favorite. Know that you're going to do the best you can and accept that what you're bringing is something helpful for the group, so don't fret about "I can't do it all” or “I won’t do it perfectly.” Followed closely by, “You’re not alone.” You will be exposed in unique ways to the Al-Anon Legacies while attending District and Area meetings, where you will hear people mention a specific Concept or Tradition as what has guided them to their opinion or action. Study of the Concepts and Traditions using these pamphlets and the Service Manual may be useful, both for following the conversations and for guiding your own thinking. The Concepts - Al-Anon's Best Kept Secret, P-57 and Al-Anon’s Twelve Traditions Illustrated, P-60. If not available in your group literature inventory, both pamphlets are available from AIS. And sure enough, there will be time commitments. More on that in the next section.
What are my responsibilities? You will be the face of your group to the District and Washington Area, bringing forward the group conscience to discussions. This will include attending monthly District meetings, and the 3 Area Assembly weekend conferences held throughout the year. Some meetings are online only, whereas, others are hybrid, so you may be able to serve without leaving your home. You will also represent the face of Al-Anon to your group and perform specific tasks within your group. You may: Run business meetings; Encourage people to participate in service; Read the Quarterly Appeal in meetings; Talk about the BITS, the Forum, and CAL within your group. And in the end, demonstrate rotation of service.
Editor’s note: The question itself implies one of the challenges for many groups, the filling of group service positions. By responding to this inquiry, the role of GR is hopefully demystified to the extent that if you have been considering this or another service position that you may be more comfortable stepping forward, and continuing your own recovery journey.
The Right Time for Recovery
“When is the right time?” I was asked this question recently at a meeting by a young man who felt lost and confused about his spouse’s alcoholism and came to Al Anon as his last hope. This brought back memories of when I had contemplated divorce and wondered when the right time for it might be. Recalling my own raw emotions and understanding how unmanageable life can become when living with the disease of alcoholism made me sit down and talk with him. After a few tears and a clenched fist, he let go with a deep breath and told me what had been going on in his home.
I’m always amazed when I hear echoes of my own story in the stories of others. I shared that I had been married for 40-plus years, and for most of our marriage, my spouse and I both denied any drinking problem. When I entered Al Anon, I finally admitted my spouse had a drinking problem and started asking myself whether now was the right time.
By the grace of God, the people in the meetings all encouraged me to slow down, not make any major decisions, and keep coming to meetings. Could I really do that? Was I capable? But every question I had was answered as I attended more meetings. I had tea with other members and listened to their experience, strength, and hope. I read Al Anon literature, and, most importantly, I found a Sponsor.
I discovered that my spouse’s journey was my spouse’s to walk, and my journey to what was best for me was my own. My decision about the “right time” would depend on whether my spouse continued to drink. I told the young man my story, identifying with his fears, misunderstandings, and rash anger. I then shared how working the Steps brought me relief, love, and serenity.
Al Anon gave me a chance to pause. It gave me time to understand the disease of alcoholism and my own disease of denial. It gave me time to grow in awareness and come to acceptance of my spouse. So, when is the right time? Only you can decide.
By Sam E., Florida
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
HAVE TECHNOLOGY SKILLS?
WILLING TO DO NEW AL-ANON SERVICE
WITH LIKE-MINDED FOLKS ON A FUN TEAM?
Hybrid Fall Assembly
We are happy to announce - WA Area Hybrid Assemblies coming in 2024! AND, exciting new service positions enabling hybrid assemblies have been created! Basic technology skills needed. You will train and work as a team member and ensure the Assembly is a success for all participants. Volunteers will be reimbursed for their travel and lodging expenses (shared rooms, shared travel, etc.).
We want to get as early a start on the process as possible in building a strong team - so please step up to these new service positions now!
We will need three volunteers and three alternates for the following in-person roles:
1) Audio/Video Volunteer (runs the sound board and coordinates the sound board input to Zoom, monitors video cameras and mini-PCs)
2) In-room Zoom Volunteer (Zoom, voting, waiting room, chat monitor, breakout rooms, Zoom naming monitor, calling on zoom speakers)
3) Zoom voting volunteer (Zoom roll call, motions, polls; also available for troubleshooting)
NOTE: Since these are technical roles, volunteers need to be able to focus on these tech roles only - they should not be participating GRs or DRs.
If you are interested or have questions, please email
George S., WA Area Meeting Technology Coordinator at:
area59.communications@gmail.com
Tradition Six
Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?
Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please submit your request via the New To Al-Anon page, or send an email to outreach@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
Has Your Meeting Changed?
Gone back to meeting in person
Become hybrid or concurrent
Has a new physical location
Made other changes that members need to know about
Has an alternate Holiday Schedule
Has disbanded
Please submit all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator by using the form at https://wa-al-anon.org/group-records-request-a-change/
Changes and Updates are made Weekly.
(Seattle AIS is automatically cc'd in the change request)
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org
2024 Washington Area Event Schedule
WAAC: July 19-21
AWSC: August 3
FALL ASSEMBLY: October 4
Requesting Phone Volunteers
Contact the Phones Coordinator
Phones@seattle-al-anon.org or call/text 206-625-0000
Concept of the Month
by Allen L
Concept Six
The Conference acknowledges the primary administrative responsibility of the Trustees.
Much of my Al-Anon reading about Concept Six described my pre-Al-Anon behavior and my taking on so much more than my true responsibilities. Taking on too much because I couldn’t trust the other people in my life to do their part.
While all that is certainly true, there is another way to look at Concept Six. Through the lens of Step Three. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
I paraphrased this concept as “I made a decision to turn the primary administrative responsibility for Al-Anon to the Trustees.” To do this I have to begin with a well-founded faith in the Trustees. Well-founded because I can see the long history of successful administration to the World Wide Al-Anon groups.
In the beginning this concept was far in the future. The alcoholic hasn’t yet earned trust. I began by deciding who in my life I could trust. Perhaps I could trust my parents or siblings. Perhaps a friend or co-worker. Once I found just one person in my life that I could trust and began trusting them, I found that there were others I could also trust. At least, trust them about work or about family issues.
I realized this concept is not open-ended trust. It’s trust about one particular aspect, the responsibility to administer World Wide Al-Anon. In my personal life, there are also limits to the trust I place in others.
Seeing and clearly defining those boundaries of trust was my first step in being able to practice Concept Six in my personal life.
Photo by Soren S
Concept Six
The Conference acknowledges the primary administrative responsibility of the Trustees.
AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, June 13th, 2024, 7:30-9:00 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
AIS Board Meeting
Thursday, July 18th, 2024 at 7:00-8:30 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
2024 Board Meeting Schedule
July 18 7:00 - 8:30 PM
October 17 7:00 - 8:30 PM
Managing the Gift of Resilience
Over the last few weeks, I have been planting flowers and vegetables from seed. There were old flower pots scattered in different areas on decks and yards around the house. There was a former hanging pot on the front porch that had withered dry bedding in it. Suddenly, coming up the porch steps I noticed a couple of green leaves and a tiny flower budding! How did that seed manage to grow in such barren conditions?
“Resilience” came to mind. It got me thinking about some extremely difficult seasons I have journeyed through in my life. Where I would be in an unworkable situation or relationship, but I continued to pour in my time and resources. I would end up exhausted, confused, and miserable. Then I would seek recovery through meetings, counseling, literature, and prayer. Eventually, I would spring back with renewed energy and a different “plan.” Unfortunately, I kept spending my resilience on a bankrupt circumstance.
It's a version of “doing the same thing, over and over again and expecting different results.” The approach may be different, but the relationship or circumstance remain the same. I thought that it was up to me to keep trying. It felt disloyal to let go of a relationship that was unhealthy or had run its course. I felt guilty researching other jobs when it was time to move into another arena.
The pinnacle of investing my resilience in a black hole of futility has been in trying to “rescue” the alcoholics in my life. I had been involved with Al-Anon and other recovery groups for years. But living in the same house with an active alcoholic is a whole other ballgame! My first feelings waking up and going to bed were fear and apprehension. My life was gradually eclipsed by the insanity, instability, dysregulation and destructiveness that alcoholism often brings to those that love the alcoholic.
Photo by Callie D
Step One has saved me many, many times. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” The first time I read those words, I felt so much relief! One aspect of bringing my life back into a viable balance is by managing my resilience, using my recovery tools to process areas that need work, and to move through the grief of painful realities. Now my resilience can bring me up from the valley floor and onto the next challenge in my life, not the alcoholic’s.
That little bud went from surviving to thriving after I watered it and packed nutritious soil around it. The same thing will happen to me if I cultivate resilience and put other nutrients back into my life!
Subscribe to The Forum
Al-Anon’s monthly magazine features timely sharing’s from Al-Anon and Alateen members, suggested meeting topics, and the latest information on worldwide Al-Anon recovery. Experience and insight you won’t find anywhere else!
May 2024 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary, not yet approved)
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service Council Minutes May 9, 2024 7:30-9:00 pm
Meeting opened at 7:30 pm by Dave M - Chair
In attendance: 16 attendees
Serenity Prayer
Introductions
Readings: Concept 5-Mary R
Secretary Report: Kathy K - Approval of the April minutes
Chair Report: Dave M
Board Meeting update was given. There were 4 out of 9 districts represented. Council minutes were reviewed. There is no PEM update. We are still waiting for direction from Area.
There was discussion in regard to an in-person larger celebration of Lois’s Birthday in March, such as was done prior to the pandemic 2019 (editorial note: the date was Feb 29, 2020). It was held at St. Andrew’s Church in Bellevue. This would need a reservation well in advance and he would like to discuss further in the New Business portion of this meeting.
Fall Assembly will be 10/4-6 at the Best Western Hotel in Moses Lake. It is hybrid and they are looking for Zoom assistants. If interested in volunteering, let Dave, Solveig or Gary know. There will also be a notice in the BITS.
Vice Chair Report: Arden C - Absent
Treasurer’s Report: Gary H - AIS remains in good financial shape.
Coordinator Reports:
Phones: Heather R
Contact: phones@seattle-al-anon.org or can just call or text the AIS phone number 206-625-0000 to volunteer.
VOLUNTEERS:
We have 16 trained volunteers, and of those, 7 covered shifts in April. There are 3 trained volunteers who have yet to volunteer this year and she is reaching out to them. She has 2 active volunteers in May only. She has trained one additional volunteer as well,
VOLUNTEERING NEEDS: Let your home groups know there is an article in the May BITS that gives specifics on what it is like to volunteer.
There are 4 primary day shifts that receive the most calls:
7-10am (1 volunteer covers this shift 3/4 of the time each month)
10am-1pm
1-4pm and 4-7pm. She would love to get more mid-day volunteers.
LDC: Mary R
We have a full set of volunteers for ordering and processing. The April open house sold $211 of literature with 5-6 people attending including a newcomer and there was great fellowship. Things are running smoothly.
Communications: MJ
It was a quiet month. She triaged emails in regard to changes or new meetings. The Capital Jamboree is looking for volunteers, but their flyer could not be posted as they do not have an Al-Anon service arm attached to the event. People are asking about the new daily reader as well.
Tech: Pierre J
Migrated domain name registration from the previous registrar (Domain Registry of America) to GoDaddy. We completed the migration on May 6. This was transparent to our users and our email, it saves us a bit of cost.
Updated our Squarespace website subscription to include the email campaign service so the BITS can continue monthly notifications. This was an incremental, unbudgeted cost.
He started researching what it takes to implement a chatbot on our website. There are a couple of sides to this. He is looking into the technical side, however, the prerequisite is the planning for this chatbot, which includes identifying the users we are targeting, what tasks we are trying to help them with, what voice we want our chatbot to have, and start writing up the scripts for the chatbot (questions we expect, what answers we want to give, and how to write this with a voice that is right for our user base). He is not sure who can help with this project. He feels he is not the right person to design the tasks we want to automate/support, or write the questions/answers we want the chatbot to give.
Pierre would like to create a working group. Gary asked about content and wondered if FAQ from another site might be used. We don’t have one on our AIS website. Additionally, we would want to consider a bilingual option.
Outreach: Solveig W (Absent so sent her report)
Responded to a request for information from Newcomer Sasha N on starting a new Al-Anon meeting for families of a local recovery facility via phone call. Sent CAL item G-12 https://al-anon.org/pdf/G12.pdf No further information or follow up was requested.
1. Sent two Newcomer Packets out.
2. Discussed Pride Table presence with Phone Coordinator.
3. Discussed Capitol Jamboree (Olympia) outreach event with Communications Coordinator.
4. Helped organize Al-Anon volunteers for Blanchet High School Health Class Outreach event with Teresa H and Tom K. Monday and Tuesday May 13/14
5. Updated King County 211 Crisis Connections listing for Seattle AIS.
6. Continue to work with Web Editor and Teresa H to understand the AIS website traffic, SEO and keywords for Seattle AIS website in service of any future digital advertising.
7. Met with other Al-Anon volunteers to update information on WA Area website Newcomer page so Newcomer resources are clearly identified, including link to Seattle AIS website.
8. Attended May open office.
Old Business:
ASL discussion in regard to funding meetings with ASL interpreters. It was again reiterated that this activity is not in alignment with AIS bylaws, in that we do not financially support individual groups.
At the April Council meeting, procuring an outreach table at Pride Day was discussed. Heather tried to sign up, but the tables were already sold out. We will need to sign up by Mar/Apr 2025 for next year.
New Business:
Ice Cream Social - Aug 18 is available at the church for this year and there are no other district events that day. Dave will send out a sign up sheet next week. It will be a fellowship event with literature available.
At the 2019 (editorial note: Actual 2020) in-person Lois birthday celebration, there were 3 Speakers and a potluck. It was well-attended with about 150 people and the venue was booked well in advance. There was enthusiasm for pursuing this and Kathleen S volunteered to check with St. Andrew’s in regard to available time and space. (March 2025)
AMIAS - Amee C is a trained AMIAS and Heather has her permission to publish her phone number for members to find out more about what it entails. Helen V also noted your DR is available to provide information.
Seventh tradition
https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/donationsforms
Next Council Meeting
June 13, at 7:30 PM
Next Board Meeting
July 18, 2024, at 7:00 pm
Adjournment: Al-Anon Declaration
Respectfully submitted by:
Kathy K, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
And More ...
MEETING SCHEDULE: Registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. Hybrid, Concurrent, and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Member Resources section for the most up-to-date information on:
List of AIS Officers and Coordinators
Where to Send Donations
District Representatives and Business Meeting Information
AIS Financial Information
Calendar of Events
Meeting News
News from the Meeting Directory Editor
No meeting changes were received since those reported in the May BITS.
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service
Meeting Directory Editor