March 2024
Tradition 3
by Magdalena E
The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
I was encouraged by a counselor to attend Al-Anon meetings. Since I didn’t speak the English language, my first meeting was in Spanish. I walked into a meeting where members were gathered in a circle and I immediately felt the love in the room. The members smiled and invited me to share. I told them I was married to a heroin addict, and I didn’t think I belonged in Al-Anon. A nice lady touched my shoulder and said, “Dear, keep coming back.” I hated my father who was a violent alcoholic and I didn’t want to acknowledge I was married to an alcoholic, so I didn’t come back.
I was 25 years old, with two kids, and I had already attempted suicide. Six months after my first meeting, I ran out of ideas of how to get the alcoholic to stop drinking and using drugs. I felt I was done and I no longer cared. For the first time in years, I saw how I had neglected my kids by only paying attention to what the alcoholic was doing, not doing and how to prevent him from doing whatever his alcoholism dictated. In those moments, I remembered attending my first Al-Anon meeting and I went back, but the meeting had closed.
God gifted me with the gift of desperation, so I went to an Al-Anon meeting in English. Although I didn’t speak the language, I received a warm and loving welcome. I was invited to share and all I could say was “I can’t speak English.” Members invited me to keep coming back and I did. Everyone in the room seemed happy, shared responsibilities and I was invited to take a service position, which I did. I soon felt a part of the Al-Anon Family Group.
My loving Sponsor, Al-Anon approved literature and my Al-Anon friends helped me understand that alcoholism was a disease, and only I can qualify myself to be a member by virtue of having an alcoholic loved one in my life. My life immediately began to change as I practiced the principles of the program. Today, when newcomers identify themselves as not having an alcoholic in their lives or that their case is different, I always remember when I was new, and I invite them to “keep coming back.”
In Tradition Three, I envision my Higher Power holding a blanket of love and welcoming the wounded into His/Her arms.
Photo by Clif H
Tradición 3
Magdalena E
Cuando los familiares de los alcohólicos se reúnen para prestarse mutua ayuda, pueden llamarse un Grupo de Familia Al-Anon, siempre que, como grupo, no tenga otra afiliación. El único requisito para ser miembro es tener un pariente o amigo con un problema de alcoholismo.
Un consejero me animó a asistir a las reuniones de Al-Anon. Como no hablaba inglés, mi primera reunión fue en Español. Entré en una reunión donde los miembros estaban reunidos en un círculo e inmediatamente sentí el amor en la sala. Los miembros me sonrieron y me invitaron a compartir. Les dije que estaba casada con un adicto a la heroína y que no creía que perteneciera a Al-Anon. Una señora amablemente me tocó el hombro y me dijo: "Querida, sigue viniendo". Odiaba a mi padre, que era un alcohólico violento y no quería reconocer que estaba casada con un alcohólico, así que no regresé.
Tenía 25 años, dos hijos y ya había intentado suicidarme. Seis meses después de mi primera reunión, se me terminaron las ideas sobre cómo hacer que el alcohólico dejara de beber y consumir drogas. Me sentía agotada y ya nada me importaba . Por primera vez en años, vi cómo había descuidado a mis hijos al solo prestar atención a lo que el alcohólico estaba haciendo, no haciendo y cómo evitar que hiciera lo que su alcoholismo dictaba. En esos momentos, recordé haber asistido a mi primera reunión de Al-Anon y regresé, pero la reunión ya la habían clausurado.
Dios me regaló el don de la desesperación, así que fui a una reunión de Al-Anon en Inglés. Aunque no hablaba el idioma, me dieron una cálida y cariñosa bienvenida. Me invitaron a compartir y todo lo que pude decir fue "No puedo hablar Inglés". Los miembros me invitaron a seguir viniendo y así lo hice. Todos en la sala parecían felices, compartían responsabilidades y me invitaron a tomar un puesto de servicio, lo cual hice. Pronto, me sentí parte de los Grupos de Familia Al-Anon.
Photo by Clif H
Mi amoroso padrino, la literatura aprobada por Al-Anon y mis amigos en Al-Anon me ayudaron a entender que el alcoholismo era una enfermedad, y que solo yo puedo calificarme para ser miembro en virtud de tener un ser querido alcohólico en mi vida. Mi vida comenzó a cambiar de inmediato a medida que practicaba los principios del programa. Hoy en día, cuando los recién llegados se identifican a sí mismos como que no tienen un alcohólico en sus vidas o que su caso es diferente, siempre recuerdo cuando era nueva y los invito a "seguir viniendo".
En la Tercera Tradición, imagino a mi Poder Superior sosteniendo una cobija de amor y dando la bienvenida a todos los heridos entre Sus Brazos.
Step Three
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Kent All Men’s Al-Anon Fort Worden Weekend
by Allen L & Clif H
Have you been considering the value of a full weekend of men’s Al-Anon fellowship? If so, the Fort Worden Weekend in Port Townsend, hosted by Kent All Men’s AFG (KAMA), may be just the opportunity to fill your spiritual cup.
The real meat of the weekend are the topic forums. Members volunteer to chair meetings on a variety of Al-Anon topics. I have found over the years that many of us (me included) will talk about subjects at Fort Worden that we normally only share with our sponsor. Speaking in public about these “hidden” issues allows me to deal with things that I couldn’t express anywhere else.
For many years I looked at the weekend as a chance to do some serious program work without the distractions from my daily life. Two years ago, a longtime friend and regular attendee at Fort Worden shared in a meeting that he no longer planned any serious work. He looked at the weekend as a chance to relax and enjoy the results of all his hard program work; to just have fun.
We each arrive with a different set of goals and needs and somehow everyone seems to end up finding exactly what they came for!
The weekend is open to all Al-Anon men and a flyer with the registration form is available at the Seattle Al-Anon Information Service website: https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events. Scroll down to find the printable Fort Worden flyer with the registration form.
From the Mailbag
Dear Editor, Do you have a favorite passage from the new daily reader, A Little Time for Myself - A Collection of Al-Anon Personal Experiences?
Thank you for asking. Although I’m finding every page I read to be inspiring, I’ve found two (so far) that really resonate with me. First, January 14, the opening sentence: “Admitting my powerlessness is not a sign of weakness for me, but of personal strength.” The second one, from May 17, Today’s Reminder: “Today, instead of worrying about the future or the past, I can look to my Higher Power to help me focus on the here and now.”
Tradition Three
The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Need a Free Newcomer Packet?
Anyone local to Seattle who is a newcomer and wants an individual newcomer packet (or in Spanish, too!), please submit your request via the New To Al-Anon page, or send an email to outreach@seattle-al-anon.org with the name and mailing address.
Has Your Meeting Changed?
Gone back to meeting in person
Become hybrid or concurrent
Has a new physical location
Made other changes that members need to know about
Has an alternate Holiday Schedule
Has disbanded
Please submit all meeting changes to the WA Area Group Records Coordinator by using the form at https://wa-al-anon.org/meeting-changes/
Changes and Updates are made Weekly.
(Seattle AIS is automatically cc'd in the change request)
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Seattle AIS updated meeting schedule, please contact meetingdirectoryeditor@seattle-al-anon.org
2024 Washington Area Event Schedule
PRE-CON: April 5-6
ASTAR: April 12-14
SSA: May 17-19
WAAC: July 19-21
AWSC: August 3
FALL ASSEMBLY: October 4
Requesting Phone Volunteers
Contact the Phones Coordinator
Phones@seattle-al-anon.org or call/text 206-625-0000
Concept of the Month
by Allen L
Concept Three
The right of decision makes effective leadership possible.
As a group representative (GR) I was responsible for bringing District, Area, and World Service Office (WSO) questions to the group for their discussion and decision. My job was to carry that to a meeting and vote my group’s decision. When I was elected a trusted servant, I was given the independence to vote differently than that group conscience if additional facts were presented.
The 2022-2025 Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual, published by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, gives me the following instruction: Nevertheless, the “instructed” Delegate who cannot act according to his own conscience on a final WSC vote would not be a “trusted servant” at all but a messenger. (p. 186)
When taking a group conscience at my home group we went around the room giving each member a chance to vote and explain why they made their decision. Listening to each member, I heard something that caused me to change my mind. When it was my turn, I explained that I heard something that changed my opinion and I was voting differently than I had initially planned. Several members also changed their vote and a group decision was reached.
As issues are discussed at the district, area, and world service levels, I often heard new viewpoints. Through that free exchange of ideas, I sometimes discover that our first impressions were incomplete.
Our trusted servants must have the authority to vote in the best interests of Al-Anon as a whole, even when it is counter to what the group they represent originally instructed.
Concept Three
The right of decision makes effective leadership possible.
Lois W Remembered
by Solveig W, Outreach Coordinator
Lois W. Co-Founder of Al-Anon March 4, 1891 - October 5, 1988
(Information Source: Al-Anon Publication P-87 https://al-anon.org/pdf/P87.pdf)
Lois W. and Anne B., the co-founders of Al-Anon, met in 1941 as they drove their husbands to A.A. meetings in New York City and Greenwich, Connecticut. By all accounts, Lois was a charismatic and talented organizer and leader, and she was also devoted to her husband Bill W., who co-founded A.A.
On Saturday, March 2, 2024, we will commemorate Lois W.'s birthday (March 4, 1891) from 11 AM - 3 PM at the Seattle AIS Office, All Pilgrim's Church, 509 10th Avenue East, Seattle, WA 98102 (see the event flyer for details.) I hope you will join us for delicious Al-Anon member-baked cake with vanilla ice cream, and fellowship, as we remember and celebrate this amazing woman. If Lois were still alive, she would no doubt be an energetic, compassionate and wise 133 years young!
Lois was the oldest of six children, born into a loving family. Her father was a surgeon and her mother was a homemaker. She saw her mother as a devoted parent, totally selfless, who "loved people and people loved her." Lois had a privileged upbringing, with nannies, private tutors, servants and a summer residence near Emerald Lake, NY. She graduated from Packer Collegiate Institute in 1912, studied drawing at an art school in NY and then became a receptionist. Ultimately, she progressed in her career and became a teacher at a private school.
Lois was introduced to Bill W., who was four years her junior, by her brother, Rogers. After spending time with him and a group of friends picnicking, hiking and driving around the countryside, she said she found Bill to be “the most interesting, the most knowledgeable, the finest man I knew.”
Bill and Lois were secretly engaged, and were set to marry after he graduated from military college, but World War I interrupted that plan. They married in 1918 before Bill was sent to Europe. An adventurous woman, Lois went on a year-long motorcycle trip with him when he returned.
Lois's salary eventually became very important to their partnership once Bill's drinking made it hard for him to hold down a job. By her own account, Lois spent many years mothering Bill, while still volunteering, working and taking care of their home. Bill was hospitalized several times before he found sobriety in A. A., but Lois stayed by his side the whole time.
Eventually Bill and Lois's first home, called Stepping Stones, located in Bedford Hills, NY, became the birthplace of Al-Anon. Lois began by compiling lists of A. A. family members who wrote in to A. A., and contacting them from her desk upstairs at Stepping Stones. She started organizing these family members into groups with Anne B., and began the work of uniting the Family Groups into the Al-Anon Fellowship in 1951.
Lois documented her life in the book "Lois Remembers", which describes her love for Bill and their life together until he passed away in 1971. There is so much more to Lois W. and Anne B.'s life stories that we can learn from. Many of Lois's philosophies of life and recovery are as clear and important today as they were long ago. Personal growth through spiritual principles, friendship, fellowship and mutual support are the foundations on which Al-Anon was built.
As Lois said, “It takes only one person to start something, but many others to carry it out.”
For more about Al-Anon's co-founders and history, read:
Lois Remembers (B-7)
How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics (B-22)
The Al-Anon Family Groups—Classic Edition (B-5)
Many Voices, One Journey (B-31)
AIS Council Meeting
The next Council meeting is Thursday, March 14, 2024, 7:30-9:00 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
AIS Board Meeting
Thursday, April 18th, 2024 at 7:00-8:30 pm. Check the AIS website calendar (https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/events) for the zoom link.
2024 Board Meeting Schedule
April 18 7:00 - 8:30 PM
July 18 7:00 - 8:30 PM
October 17 7:00 - 8:30 PM
My Decision, My Relief
by Desi D
Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
This Step came to me as a relief, of a fashion. By the time I worked my way to this Step, I’d heard many stories during meetings that focused on the “made a decision” part of the Step. Whew, all I had to do was make a decision. That should be easy, right? My Higher Power had already revealed himself to me and demonstrated that if I would just listen, he would be by my side. I was ready to embrace this Step.
Then came the work of answering the questions (Paths to Recovery, p-36 and 37) and discussing them with my sponsor. For me it turned out to be both more complex and more comforting. Sixteen questions that not only helped me explore ideas like am I willing “to try” to turn over my life and will, and am I even capable of making such a decision; it also helped me explore how keeping the focus on me, and out of other people’s issues, can help me find and hold onto my serenity.
Photo by Clif H
Another really important part of this Step for me has been addressing what and how I can deal with situations when I take back my will after I’ve committed to handing it over to my Higher Power. The first, and often the most challenging part of this, is recognizing that I’ve taken it back. How do I know? One of the clues is if I appear to be forcing my solution on others. Have I raised my voice in an effort to be heard over others’ voices? These are great clues, though there are several more. After that I need to take action to once again turn it over again. I know I’ve given the issue back to him when I have stopped getting my nose out of joint when things aren’t going my way, or when I stop butting into others’ activities.
By the time I completed this Step the first time, I’d achieved several experiences putting my newfound skills into practice. Even as I practice my program today, I feel relief when I successfully make a decision and turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power. Often this happens several times every day.
Creating Space for Serenity
Even as a young teen I recognized the heartbreak and destruction that alcoholism was wielding through the generations of my family. I knew I didn’t want to live my life that way, especially with the cruelty it inflicted upon children growing up in that atmosphere. To survive I had to remain acutely aware of what was going on within the home.
For decades I felt compelled to focus on the alcoholic, sometimes to the point of obsession. Constantly churning with fear and apprehension, feeling the overwhelming burden to “save” them. Serenity was rare, and generally only happened when I was away for an extended period of time.
Early on, Al Anon challenged me to “put the focus back on myself.” At first that sounded selfish and like I would be abandoning the people I loved. Now I know that seeking healing, and executing intentional acts of self-care are key to my recovery.
Serenity may seem elusive when trying to navigate the turbulent waters that alcoholism leaves in its wake. “Ignorance is bliss,” doesn’t quite cut it, either. As I don’t believe genuine “serenity” can be obtained by being oblivious to reality. Conversely, I can’t write it on my “to do” list and check it off like a task or duty.
When it does occur, serenity seems to emerge naturally within my spirit, and surrounds me with a sense of peace and well-being. I want more of that in my life! I am becoming aware of what tends to invite serenity into my day.
Photos by Callie D
First, it helps to create space in my mind and emotions to embrace serenity. This usually involves journaling, praying, and processing the things that are weighing me down. Sometimes it involves picking up a daily reader, listening to a podcast or a speaker meeting online. Allowing myself a good cry can bring that sense of release and peace.
Creating a retreat inside my living space and/or yard. A safe space away from the turmoil and confusion. (Preferably with a lock on it!) I have designed whimsical landscapes from thrift store treasures and imagination. Surrounding myself with meaningful keepsakes, like quilts, books, shells, and photographs. I found this beautiful beaded hummingbird that resembles a phoenix rising out of the ashes. This reminds me that I can rise out of the pain of my current circumstance and thrive once again.
I have a patio adorned with feeders and little cubbies where I stash suet nuggets for the squirrels and birds. On my worst day, I am transported out of my head by observing the antics of these wonderful creatures! A walk in the forest or a scenic drive can also be a catalyst for calm.
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February 2024 AIS Council Meeting Minutes (Summary, not yet approved)
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service Council Minutes February 8, 2024 7:30-9:00 pm
Meeting opened at 7:30 pm by Dave M - Chair
In attendance: 23 attendees
Serenity Prayer
Introductions
Readings: Concept 2 - Arden C
Secretary Report: Kathy K Report of the Jan. Minutes
Approval of Jan minutes: Sandra moved that the Jan Council Meeting minutes be accepted as presented. Gary seconded. Motion Passed with 3 Abstentions.
Chair Report: Dave M
Qtr. 1 Board Meeting Update: The Board meeting on Jan 18 was attended by only 2 DRs other than Council members so there was no real new information than from the Jan Council meeting. He is going to AWSC on Feb 24 and plans to talk to DRs there in Feb as to why there was not better attendance. The agenda for AWSC has been created. There was no mention of PEMs (Permanent Electronic Meetings) at all but he assumes it will be discussed. The link to the agenda and motions to be discussed are below. There are 2 motions of note 1. To Increase the price of the WA Wandering newsletter and 2. To Allow Dual Members to serve outside the group level. If this passed it would have to go to WSO. There are 5 motions to fund the Hybrid Fall Assembly. He will report back to the March Council.
The feedback about the new website has been very positive and the BITS email blast was sent out.
There are currently 10 Alateen meetings active in Washington Area. There are 4 in the districts AIS serves. There is a shortage of AMIAS and of the 97 total members there are 73 that need recertifying. He requests we take to our groups the need to recertify and the need for new AMIAS. If there are questions about recertifying, please contact your DR. There will be 5 Zoom training sessions between now and June. It is a 3-hour training. There is also ASTAR (Alateen Support, Training and Recovery) which is a 2-day meeting in Ellensburg Apr.12-14. There are training meetings and breakout topics with good fellowship. This will also serve to recertify as well. It is more than just AMIAS training but a real opportunity to learn and a spiritual experience.
Treasurer’s Report: Gary H
Financial reports: Seattle AIS remains financially stable.
Literature sales were well ahead of our budget projection. The new shipment of the daily reader is available and he projects we will have strong literature sales in the upcoming months.
Donations as of Jan 31 were good this month.
We have finally transitioned to Dave, Chair and Gary, Treasurer as signatories at Home Street Bank.
Gary has written a Donations Thanks article for the BITS (Dec).
He wants to enable donations via the website and believes this is an option on the new website platform.
Sandra asked about literature profit and it was explained that when sales versus Cost of Goods Sold are accounted for as well as cost of the office (to house literature) and tech costs we make very little. The goal is to be revenue neutral.
Arden related that her district wanted to know if Outreach monies could be used by groups e.g. hiring ASL interpreters. It was explained we are a clearing house and Outreach monies go to serve our mission which can be difficult to determine but we had decided in the past at Council and Board not to use AIS funds to fund Group expenses given the 7th tradition that every group should be self-supporting.
Vice Chair Report: Arden C
The Feb open house sold $636.00 of literature. There was a slight computer glitch that was resolved. Six people came and as usual there was good fellowship.
Coordinator Reports:
Phones: Heather R
Heather R This was her first full month as the Phones Coordinator and her report is below as submitted prior to the Council Meeting. She really is enjoying the service and appreciates her volunteers. She normally fills in on Thursday and would like someone to fill this shift. She may have one more volunteer and would like to increase the number beyond 15. There are many weekend hours available and training is provided.
Contact: phones@seattle-al-anon.org or can just call or text the AIS phone number 206-625-0000 to volunteer.
LDC: Mary R and Linda H
We are well stocked with the new daily reader, A Little Time for Myself. They have a full staff of volunteers and are looking forward to Lois’s Birthday celebration at the Mar. 2 open house.
Communications: Teresa H Acting
The website is up and running. It is brand new and built by Evelyn and she is very grateful. It was a big learning curve for everyone involved. Pierre helped as well. They tried to keep things very similar to the old website. She believes the Events page has been improved. Evelyn also reported that it was a great learning experience and long- term she thinks a Spanish speaker is needed to work with the web editor.
M.J. is the new Communications Coordinator and Teresa and Jackie T will orient her. We have a new Meeting Directory Editor; Linda W. and she will also start next week. The Archivist Editor is also part of the Communications team and unfilled. M.J. will address but this is not a pressing need.
In the last 4 months of 2023, there were 107 unique visits on average every day to the website. The most popular page is the home page followed by the meeting page. Next popular is the “How to Donate” page which gives information for District, Area and AIS donations. There is a Standing Rules and Procedure Manual (SRPM) on the website which are the rules and procedures we follow in AIS. We will also be able to track whether a mobile or desktop is being used to access the website.
The Council thanks Evelyn and Teresa for the tremendous work they did.
Tech: Pierre J
It was a quiet month. He did receive 6 emails requesting help and new additions to the Council mailing list. He thanks Evelyn for her work on the website. He was thanked for the computer fix at the last open house.
Outreach: Solveig W
The Sound Transit bus and trains campaign has just finished on 2/5. It was a wide-ranging campaign on commuter buses and trains that reached from Everett to Des Moines and east to Sammamish. We are committed to a second year starting in Nov. 2024. The ads contained a QR code, AIS phone number and WSO website (as content creators). We did not get any QR code directed hits to the website in either English or Spanish in Jan./ Feb. She is thinking next year of including our website instead of the QR code.
Linda W. noted that as we did not have any data for Nov/Dec, and it is a commuter train perhaps the QR codes were used earlier.
She has sent out 2 newcomer’s packets and we have been invited to a high school health fair in Edmonds on Sat. Mar. 23. She is looking for an AMIAS to go with her as well, and anyone willing to volunteer can reach her at Outreach@seattle-al-anon.org. She does not know the hours yet. She has done a flyer for Lois’s birthday.
Old Business:
Lois’s Birthday: Mar. 2 at the office between 11:00-3:00pm (usual office hours). Heather R. is bringing her wonderful cake and Solveig is bringing ice cream.
New Business:
Lois Birthday Celebration on March 2 with cake and ice cream.
By consensus we agreed to have this again. Heather R will bake cakes and bring ice cream. Solveig will advertise in the February BITS.
Seventh tradition
https://www.seattle-al-anon.org/donationsforms
Next Council Meeting
Next meeting will be Mar. 14, at 7:30 PM
Next Board Meeting
April 18, 2024
Adjournment: Al-Anon Declaration
Meeting adjourned at: 8:43 pm
Respectfully submitted by:
Kathy K, Secretary
Thank you for your donations and your support of AIS!
Our funding now comes primarily from:
Donations by Members, Groups, and Districts
Literature Sales
Please send all AIS mail, including checks for literature orders and donations, to:
Seattle AIS
505 Broadway E #400
Seattle, WA 98102-5023
And More ...
MEETING SCHEDULE: Registered Al-Anon groups in the Greater Seattle Area. Hybrid, Concurrent, and in-person meetings are listed.
Please visit our Member Resources section for the most up-to-date information on:
List of AIS Officers and Coordinators
Where to Send Donations
District Representatives and Business Meeting Information
AIS Financial Information
Calendar of Events
Meeting News
News from the Meeting Directory Editor
Meeting changes were received since those reported in the February BITS.
• Saturday, 7:30 PM, Saturday Night Recovery AFG, new Zoom ID and Code {1/26}
• Monday, 7:00 PM, Living in the Solution AFG, disbanded {1/30}
• Friday, 7:30 PM, TGIF AFG, removed “Face Masks Required” {2/4)
• Sunday, 8:30 AM, Sunday AM Fresh Start, in person only {2/10}
• Sunday, 8:30 AM, Sunday AM Fresh Start Online, NEW meeting {2/10}
• Friday, 10:AM Highlands Friday AM AFG, in person only (2/16)
• Tuesday, 6:30 PM Vashon Island Women’s AFG, disbanding (2/16)
• Wednesday, 8:00PM, Queen Anne AFG, de-listed (2/16)
Seattle Al-Anon Information Service
Meeting Directory Editor